Spending my Saturday night at home is something I'll never get used to just because I hate being alone. I love being surrounded by people and as much as possible I try to avoid being by myself. It sucks. When I'm by myself, I can't help but be reminded of all the shitty things in my life. I just end up wasting my night thinking about him..
But I want to change that. I don't want to be afraid of being by myself anymore. I have to make more of an effort to fight this fear. Nights like these, I should be focusing on myself and no one else. I won't let him win this time.
I need to do this for myself. I have to be content with just being alone. I don't know how long I'm gonna have to go through life without someone by my side so I better get used to it already. And I'm starting tonight.
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